Bachelorette Recap - Bentley is GONE...

I can't for the life of me, tell you why I watch this show.

Monday night means I'm watching The Bachelorette... whatever, at least I'm not on drugs. 

Anyway, the Bentley counter broke halfway through the show when it hit a kazillion.  Unfortunately, I don't know the exact number of times his god-awful name was mentioned... hopefully it will be no more.  Poor Ashley, she's surrounded by seven hot guys and all she can think about is getting closure with the douche bag who only went on the show to make her look like an idiot get exposure for his business. Well, exposure indeed.  Here's what I'll give you, Bentley:

Fathers, load your shotguns and protect your daughters!

Ashley, on the other hand, gave him a much classier send off, a lovely straight into the camera with awkward eye contact "F--- you, Bentley."

Now, that's what America's been dying waiting for.

However, I managed to work some blog-reading into my lunch break, and discovered this gem from Ashley Spivey, Ashley H.'s biffle from last season, aptly titled Ding Dong the Douche is Gone!  Ashley S. brings up one stellar point: we've all been there.  We've all stuck around for the guy who wasn't worth it.  Now, most of us didn't do it on national T.V. torturing viewers and inspiring drinking games with the number of times we mention his name, but we've all been there.  We've all been duped, played, fooled, whatever way you say it, and unfortunately the Bentleys of the world are not few and far between.  Let's just hope the mentions of this one become so.

Let's talk J.P. ... 

He's just so dreamy...

He's my front-runner, but because we all know the Bachelorette is never predictable and always the "most dramatic season yet"... I think she's going to send him home. GASP.  Watch the previews again.  You don't see him much, then there's some drama about regretting sending someone home, he says "still in the back of my mind, I'm thinking I'm not ready to propose." and then, someone comes back in a "dramatic twist."  

I'm calling it now, it will be J.P.

Anyway, here are my other reactions from the night in no specific order: 

• Ashley is gorgeous, but that Tinkerbelle hair and barely-there dress for the rose ceremony got two thumbs down from me.  The dress could have been tolerable if it had been a gown with a sheer tulle skirt, like where the beading faded or something... or she could have worn something different. #justsayin
• Mickey sucks for storming out.  Way to be an adult, not.
• Lucas, what are you still doing here? I don't see it. 
• JP. JP. JP. Marry Me. JP. JP. JP. So hot right now.
• I'm annoyed by Ryan almost as much as Blake was.
• Constantine and Ben F's bromance freaks me out.
• Chris Harrison, how much do they pay you for this sweet gig?

That's all folks, see you next Tuesday, for the most shocking Bachelorette recap ever.